And knowing that you are enough.
Observing. Noticing. Being patient. Breathe. And just letting everything pass. Without judgment.
These have been a common theme for the past few weeks.
Sometimes, in the height of an emotion, it is easy to lose control. It is easy to be manipulated by things. By words. By other people. And it’s easy to turn a blind eye to the truth. To how exactly things mean to us.
It is easy to give in to bad thoughts. And emotions.
But to truly be grounded, you sometimes have to observe, mindfully. Regardless of how hard things seem to be.
And without judgment.
Myself have been grueling. It’s not easy.
There were a few weeks when it was a struggle for me to sleep. It was hard to eat. And my heart feels like it was only pumping caffeine.
I’m still in search of meaning. The purpose of how and why things have happened. Without judgment.
And to be candid, it is a true struggle.
But if I wanted to grow, I cannot just turn my back and resort to hate. Or anger.
I have to be patient. Sit. Observe. And let it all fill the places within. Appreciate the beauty of impermanence. Without judgment. Just accepting. With kindness. And love.
Maybe few will find it stupid. But this is on a different level now.
In doing so, it only pushed me to fix things in my life. To be better.
Now, I am ever closer to my mum. I have come to known authentic people. Those who don’t just sympathize. Those who are not there just to take sides. People who’ll love you, just because they truly love you.
Everything else is a filter.
It is calm. And I’m happy that I was able to handle this well. No hate. But only growth.
Saying so, doesn’t mean that I have mastered it well.
I still cry. Everyday. I still have those feeling of shame. Regret. There are meals where I would end up just throwing my food. There are still moments where it is miserable.
But I guess the point is in doing the right thing. Not to hurt anyone. But to keep on loving. Because you know exactly how it feels to go through this moment.
So, keep breathing. And always remember, you are enough.