Will you?
This is the question that I have been very afraid to ask someone. It feels like the fear of rejection have been creeping into my life since I was born.
But finally, I have found the courage. No more hesitation. This is the next step in my life.
So, I decluttered my life. Get rid of what have to. To give space to a new life that I am about to walk on.
The build up is going all well.
Faced my knee injury. Bought a cam. Stopped drinking. Started meditating. Rerouted life. Bought a kindle. Rekindled faith. And have been setting things up to finally ask her.
Sadly, I lost her.
I have lost her to pieces of stories. I lost her to people from the other side of the rope.
I wish I could show her the other parts of the puzzle. The other side of story that was not captured, told.
We could have been stronger.
But is it too late now?
Prolly, I deserve this. This is my karma.
To never get the chance to ask someone when I finally had the courage to. The 4-words.
And I hated myself for that. Why did I have to wait for my birthday? When there and then I could have just asked it.
Made myself too special for that. Now, I so hate myself.
And I wanted to get this all off my chest. Go to a cliff where I’ll never outvoice the wind. And scream.
How I wish I could have just swallowed my ego. And let love take the wheel. Because after all, love never had to be complicated.
All I could have done is simply look her in the eyes, hold her hands, and asked, “WYMM”.
